I’ve been transitioned. After six weeks and 1 day at rehab, I’ve graduated to “Level III: Transition” care and won’t be returning to outpatient rehab at the hospital (at least, I have no intention of having to return there!).

This is my report card, er, “outpatient discharge summary.”  It has a sort of kindergarten-report-card vibe to it — I don’t get a grade, or even “exceeds expectations,” on the required tasks. It’s just “Met”.

Some of the best lines:

“Verbalizes understanding of normal anatomy” Met
“Verbalizes understanding of pathological disease” Met
“Verbalizes cardiac signs and symptoms and knows appropriate actions” Met
“Demonstrates compliance toward personal risk factor modification” Met

The last one is my favorite. Beautiful sentence structure, outstanding word choice, and ultimately, kinda funny. Yes, I am modified. Yes, it’s personal. Yes, I’m complying and meeting expectations. I’d be an idiot not to.

The next phase in my personal risk factor modification is to keep up the exercise. On Wednesday I start at Exercare, a gym across the street from the heart hospital staffed with nurses and sports physiologists. I get six sessions during the transition phase, after which I can join if I choose to. At this point, that seems like a good idea, until I really know and understand what is a safe and effective exercise plan for me. That’s the part of my behavior modification I don’t feel I’ve mastered.

I will miss rehab. I liked the predictability of Monday-Wednesday-Friday at 3 p.m., I liked the company, and I liked having a prescribed plan. I was able to work out longer, faster, and harder each day and I could feel progress being made. Here’s proof: according to my report card, my average beginning Met level was 4.7. My average on discharge was 7.2. Whatever that means. It’s clear I need to go back to school.

Exercare, here I come.